Stories

Anxiety and Depression was controlling me.

I was always the fun, silly girl who didn’t give the care about the world, just loving and living life. I was open, I felt fearless, confident in my skin and after a while I felt my self fading away. I was slowly loosing myself and I didn’t know what to do. I went from being happy to always angry, from smiling all the time showing my beautiful smile, to not even wanting to brush my teeth. 

What depression did to me

 I stayed in my bed and slept for hours, didn’t get up unless it was to use the bathroom. (Yup, sometimes I didn’t bathe, disgusting I know) but I couldn’t help it, I didn’t have the energy to do none of the simple things that I normally did. 

I had beautiful long, thick hair that I stopped combing because, I said no one cares. I dropped out of school, cause again I figured no one cared. I felt myself dying in the inside. I felt the pain in my mom when she seen me like this, I wanted to change for her but I didn’t have the energy, I wanted to die but I was scared to do it myself. But, I knew I needed help, I knew something needed to change. I wanted my life back and I was going to take back my life.

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What I did to change my life

I rekindled friendships with old friends and I started talking again, I met someone and he helped me a lot (gave me my babies). I look at them and I want to be better, I want to do better, I want them to see me as a strong mother. But, I am so protective of my kids and I think that causes me more stress. What I mean is, i am constantly thinking awful things, when I take them outside “hope no one walks in the yard and get them” I am taking life one day at a time instead of stressing and being fearful of the future. 

I want my kids to enjoy their life and not let me ruin it by my constant over- protection. I have been so much better, I’ve been more focused, more determined, more calmer, when I do feel myself starting to get anxious, I take deep breathes, inhale… hold… exhale… repeat. It works for me a lot of the time. I also, play more music and relaxation sounds. 

I feel more confident this year than I have in a long time. I started my mind of a mom blog to help me channel my anxiety, when I write I feel relaxed,like now, I’ve been anxious since last night. But, it’s not something I’m too worried about, again I feel confident in our future. 

If you have any suggestions I would love to hear them. How do you handle your anxiety?

11 Comments

  • Gina

    Anxiety is rough! You are not alone. Therapy, self-care, meditation, and support from loved ones are all helpful. I’ve gone with and without meds, and meds definitely make things easier. Be kind to yourself, especially on tough days. Wishing you much strength!

  • Kerri

    I’m so sorry you went through this. I know what anxiety is like because I have had it ever since my teens and now still in my 20’s. At times it can be a little too much, but thank God for the internet because I learned a lot in helping me manage my anxiety. I believe I will always have it, but managing it is what I am working on. And I recall someone telling me stop being weird when I was experiencing high levels of anxiety. That person had no clue what I was going through. It isn’t to put blame on her, because she didn’t know any better. When it comes to anxiety, then being open and honest about it to the people in your life is important in my opinion. Why should we suffer in silence?! No way. Thanks for sharing. Take care of yourself.

    • Daily Mom

      Thank you for sharing and your kind words. I’ve learned a lot from the internet as well, technology is something ain’t it? I’m also starting Cognitive therapy.
      Best wishes for you!!

  • Sophie Wentworth

    Great post, I’m very lucky that I’ve never suffered with anxiety but I have several close friends who do and I can only begin to imagine how much that can intensify when you have kids to worry about too! I’m glad you’re doing better and I hope someone else has some extra tips for you! x

    Sophie
    http://www.glowsteady.co.uk

  • Shayla

    Great blog. I have anxiety, I medicate with cannabis, I journal and I see a therapist often. My family also helps me y’all through my attacks. I have to tell myself “that thought is irrational” and list why until I’m calm. Sounds strange but it does work. My Therapist almost makes me write until the anxiety has passed and that’s how my blog had a billion post last year lol blogging really does help. Writing is an excellent outlet. I’m happy you’re blogging.

    • Daily Mom

      Thank you! I’m glad you found ways to control your anxiety as well. I haven’t seen my therapist yet but I do have a date for one. I’m nervous about it, I’m not really good with talking face to face. Blogging has helped me release all lot of frustration. Thank you for your comment.

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